It's Hard to Fix a Wounded Heart...

This is the story of a girl who had a bad temper. To teach her a good lesson, her boyfriend asked that every time she lost her patience and insulted him, she should hammer a nail on her door.

On the first day, the girl hammered 37 nails. As weeks passed and as she managed to control her temper, the nails became fewer. After almost a year of struggle, the girl finally managed to control herself. She was happy and she told her boyfriend about her achievements. The boyfriend, however, suggested that she should take out the nails from the door. After some days, the girl had removed all the nails.


Her boyfriend took her to see the door and said: “You have worked hard, my love, but look at all the holes that are there on the door. The door will never be like it was before you started to put nails on it. Each time you lost your patience and offended me by words, you leave behind scars that are difficult to remove. You can insult me and afterwards say ‘I am sorry’, but the scars will always remain.”

I miss you (True Confessions from a Wounded Heart)

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I miss you even if I have you in my arms. I miss you even if in my every day I see you. I miss you even if you are already mine. I miss your smiles even if you smiled to me each time we’re together. I miss your hugs even if you hug me so tight. I miss your kisses even if you kiss me as if there’s no more tomorrow. There are times that I want to scream or to bawl what is in my heart. There are moments that I want to say curses but I can’t. There are times that I want to leave and let go because I can’t endure anymore but there’s something that keeps holding me. There are things in you that I miss so much…

I miss your morning text messages that says I love you or goodnights that end with the eternal love. I miss your hugs every time we are together or your kisses before I head home. I miss your stubbornness and defiance which I know that you longed for my attention. I miss your mood swings and your annoyances. I miss your “princess-act” whenever we are together. I miss your questions about what’s going on. I miss your curiosity on what is in my phone or in my bag. I miss holding your hand that seems you would never let go. I miss going out with you in certain places you haven’t been. I miss to see the excitement in your eyes to something new. I miss sitting beside you on your bed and listening to your voice as you whisper that I’m the only one you love.

Alas, all these are just nostalgias of the past and to what had been. All were real then to me. All were true and without doubt. Alas, now I don’t know if they are still true, real and sincere. That’s the very thing I miss. I miss believing that what is happening now is true…


Forgive me if I am in doubt for my wounds still bleed and are fresh. The lance of infidelity has made its deepest scar. The blows of insecurity put me in a comma until now. The hard hits and slaps of insults still leave their bloody mark. All I’m longing to hear is a sincere act of contrition. All I’m longing to see is true remorse and amendment from your flaws. Yes! I gave you my forgiveness. But forgiveness is a grace. It only applies to someone sincerely asking for it. I miss when you say sorry and with sincerity in your eyes… Have faith that I will never let you go. I will never change you in my heart. I will love you forever and throughout eternity… I fought a good fight. I finished the race. I have kept the faith… I’m still missing the real you…

The Wisdom of Non-Violence

The Wisdom of Non-Violence

An Inspired Essay by Avatar Meher Baba

In modern times, there has been no greater advocate and teacher of love as the ultimate attainment of every human being than the Avatar Meher Baba. In this essay he explores the role of love as it pertains to the uniquely human problem of violence.

Nonviolence, pure and simple, means 'infinite love.' It is the goal of life. When pure and infinite love is reached, the aspirant becomes one with God. To reach this goal, there must be intense longing, and the aspirant who has this longing must begin by practicing the 'nonviolence of the brave.' This applies to those who, though not one with all through realization, consider none to be their enemy and try to win over even the aggressor through love. They give up their lives through love, not through fear.

'Nonviolence of the Brave' is practicable for those who have the intense longing to attain the supreme state. This longing is not to be found in the majority. If, therefore, it is intended to lead the majority to nonviolence, it is necessary first to prepare them for the 'nonviolence of the brave.' To achieve this in a practical way, it is necessary to make them follow, in the beginning, the principle of 'nonviolent violence'; that is, violence done solely for defending the weak, without any selfish motive.

In times of war, when the masses are not even in the mood to listen to advice about having intense longing to attain the supreme goal of life, the only practical way to lead them toward the goal is to begin by inculcating in them the principle of'nonviolent violence' and then gradually introducing the 'nonviolence of the brave.' Otherwise, nonviolence would not only fail but there would be serious danger of the fatal 'nonviolence of the coward' -- that is, non-resistance to aggression because of fear.

The masses may also be led to the 'nonviolence of the brave' by following the principles of 'selfless violence' instead of those of 'nonviolent violence.'This selfless violence is violence done in self-defense when attacked treacherously. No other motive should be allowed to justify the violence. Thus, for example if a woman is threatened with violation and one defends her by resorting to violence one can be said to have followed the principles of 'selfless violence.' Similarly, when the motherland is being attacked by enemies, the nations effort in defending the motherland is 'selfless violence.' An element of selfishness being there, the love expressed is limited human love.

'Nonviolence of the coward' is fatal; so also is'selfish violence, ' which is violence perpetrated for selfish motives by individuals or by a nation to gain power, or for other selfish ends.

It will therefore be seen that while nonviolence,pure and simple is the goal of life, this goal is to be attained by individual seekers of God by following'nonviolence of the brave.' The majority who have not the intense longing for being one with God have to be led toward this goal on the principles of'nonviolent violence' or those of 'selfless violence,'according to the circumstances. It must be very clearly understood that 'nonviolent violence' and'selfless violence' are merely the means of attaining the goal of life, namely pure and simpleNonviolence or 'Infinite Love.' These means must not be confused with the goal itself.

The motive and result are determined by general acceptance as to whether they are good or bad. For example, 'nonviolence of the brave' and'nonviolence of the coward' are both nonviolence, but, from the viewpoint of the motive force behind it,'nonviolence of the brave' is born of love and'nonviolence of the coward' is born of fear which is opposite to love. Although as nonviolence they are not opposites, their motives are opposed. The motive behind 'nonviolence of the brave' is losing ones life to gain infinite love, and the motive behind'nonviolence of the coward' is to save one's own life. So 'nonviolence of the coward' can be described as'non-love,' as we describe 'nonviolence of the brave' as love.

'Nonviolent violence' cannot be described as love, but as 'duty' - duty done selflessly for others according to Karma Yoga, or helpfulness, which is eventually linked up with infinite love - but motivated by human love.

The difference between these two opposite forces cannot be obliterated; but the transformation of one force to another can happen when expressed through the right channels. Food given wrongly becomes poison, but poison given in small quantities as a tonic may become food for the nerves. Indeed, all food is poison; it is only in the power of transformation that it becomes converted into good.

War is a necessary evil; it is in God's plan to awaken humanity to higher values. If humanity fails to profit by the lessons of war, it suffers in vain. War teaches that even the 'man in the street' can rise to the greatest heights of sacrifice for the sake of a selfless cause. It also teaches that wealth, possessions, power, fame, family, and even life on earth are devoid of lasting value. The incidents of war can, through the lessons they bring, win man for God and initiate him into a new life inspired by lasting values.

In war, people make unlimited sacrifices and endure untold sufferings for the sake of their country or in the interests of political aims; they are capable of the same sacrifices and endurance for God. All religions have unequivocally claimed man for life in the Truth, and it is sheer folly to fight in the name of any religion. It is time for a fresh vision of the Truth that all life is one, that only God is real, and that God is all that matters. God is worth dying for. He is also worth living for. All else is vain and empty, the pursuit of illusory values.

This essay was excerpted from Meher Baba's classic work entitled, 'God to Man and Man to God.'

Trust

Trust is both and emotional and logical act. Emotionally, it is where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of your openness. 

Logically, it is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, calculating expected utility based on hard performance data, and concluded that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner. In practice, trust is a bit of both. I trust you because I have experienced your trustworthiness and because I have faith in human nature.

We feel trust. Emotions associated with trust include companionship, friendship, love, agreement, relaxation, comfort. 

There are a number of different ways we can define trust. Here are the dimensions of trust and consequent definitions.

It is a normal part of the human condition to be constantly forecasting ahead. We build internal models of the world based both on our experiences and what others tell us, and then use these to guess what will happen next. This allows us to spot and prepare for threats and also make plans to achieve our longer-term goals.

The greatest unpredictability is at 50%; a reliable enemy can be preferable to an unpredictable friend, as at least we know where we are with them.

Definition 1: Trust means being able to predict what other people will do and what situations will occur. If we can surround ourselves with people we trust, then we can create a safe present and an even better future.lue exchange

Most of what we do with other people is based around exchange, which is the basis for all businesses as well as simple relationships. At its simplest, it is exchange of goods. I will swap you two sheep for one cow. It is easy to calculate the value in such material bargaining. Things get more complex when less tangible forces come into play. A parent exchanges attention for love. A company exchanges not only pay but good working conditions for the intellectual and manual efforts of its workforce.

Value exchange works because we each value things differently. If I have a whole flock of sheep but no milk, then I can do business with a person who has a herd of cows but no clothes. This principle of reciprocity is what binds societies together.

Trust in value exchange occurs when we do not know fully whether what we are receiving is what we expect. When we buy a car, don’t want to be sold a ringer which the seller knows is faulty. When I get advice in business, I want it to be based on facts, not wild opinions.

Definition 2: Trust means making an exchange with someone when you do not have full knowledge about them, their intent and the things they are offering to you.elayed reciprocity

Exchange is not just about an immediate swapping of cows and sheep or hugs and kisses. What makes companies and societies really work is that something is given now, but the return is paid back some time in the future. The advantage of this is that we can create a more flexible environment, where you can get what you need when you need it, rather than having to save up for it.


Trust now becomes particularly important, because otherwise we are giving something for nothing. The delay we have placed in the reciprocal arrangement adds a high level of uncertainty which we need to mitigate through trust.

What is often called the ‘golden rule’ is a simple formula for creating trust. ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ It sets up the dynamic for my giving you something now with the hope of getting back some unspecified thing in the indeterminate future.

Definition 3: Trust means giving something now with an expectation that it will be repaid, possibly in some unspecified way at some unspecified time in the future.xposed vulnerabilities

When we trust other people, we may not only be giving them something in hope of getting something else back in the future, we may also be exposing ourselves in a way that they can take advantage of our vulnerabilities. If I buy a car from you and I do not know a good price, you can lie to me so you get a better bargain. If I tell you in confidence about the problems I am having with work, you could use this to further your own career at my expense.

Although the threat of retribution or projected feelings of guilt can counteract your temptation to abuse my exposed vulnerabilities, if you succumb I still get hurt and may still end up with the shorter stick. For our transaction to complete successfully, I must be able to trust that such agonies will not come to pass.

Definition 4: Trust means enabling other people to take advantage of your vulnerabilities—but expecting that they will not do this.

So learn about trust, how it works and how to build it. If you do it well, other people will give you the earth. If you betray them, they will hunt you to the ends of the earth.

Snakes in my backyard... You know who you are..

You don't need you to check my reasons especially if it won't give you a raise of stipend for doing so..I did my best to be kind and professional but what you're showing me is very unprofessional and rude. I believe in the adage that says: " Familiarity breeds contempt." It's true. When I don't act like a person of authority, you look at me as one of your peers, but you forgot that my education is higher than yours and you have no right to check on me because it is not what we hired you to be. You can't even perform your duties even if it's the lowliest obligation. When you need something, I give considerations on your request. When you ask me of something to your greed, did I look at you as a greedy hog? Never! SO shut up! Leave me alone because I came to work and to build a family. That is professionalism. To  greedy sloths like you... I know, you can never understand... so skip me out from you unintellectual brain.... get lost... I don't need snakes in my backyard.... You know who you are... Time will come... as I lifted all of you up to your glory, I'll bring havoc that will crush you down to pieces... goodluck...

Valentine Experience...

Well, as for those in love, Valentine is one of the most anticipated moment in their lives. Early this morning, i thought of making a big surprise to my love, my renal nurse. Despite that i gave her various alibis yesterday evening that I don't have much time to celebrate valentine with her, I gave her the first part of my surprise and giving her alibis is just part of the plan. I went to the hospital chapel early this morning because I knew that she'll be doing the readings for the Mass. But I have to keep myself hidden because she isn't aware that I'll be attending the Eucharist. Right after the mass has ended, I went to another place of prayer and thank the Lord for giving me a chance to express my deepest love to my renal nurse. I stayed there for almost an hour then I head back to the hospital where she's working and went directly to the SPICE- Kidney Center. She never thought that I'm going to go directly inside the Kidney Center, give my gift, offer her flowers and just look at her with a smile. It didn't take that much long. I could see how shy she was and blushing. It's another big surprise for her that she thought I would never try to do. When I saw her smiling while accepting my gift, I was filled with a blissful feeling and love. I hope I made her special this Valentines Day...This valentine experience is indeed a big surprise....

I love you my Renal Nurse.... Wait for the second part. More surprises to come...

"I d0n't need fl0wers or ch0colates this valentines, fl0wers die, ch0colates expire, n0t U in my heart all i need is y0u, n0t just n0w but f0rever... I love u!"

The Reason Is You

You're the reason for these butterflies
That are fluttering uncontrollable inside of me
These butterflies will never calm
They've taken over my whole body

You're the reason for this smile
That brightens my whole face
This smile will never frown
You've unknowingly became my all

You make me feel alive once again
You've erased my past with just a touch
Chased my fears with just one glance
You broke my mold with that first kiss

I thought my happiness was forbidden
Until you took my world and killed my demons
Read into all my deepest dreams
And gave them beautiful wings
You're the reason I believe in love...

If Only You Could Realize I'm Sorry...

Telling the truth won't do,

for that was a surprise to be

God alone knows that I really wanted to make a change

in you and be the first to greatly surprise you.

But it all fell on me and I feel like simply taking my life away though it won't help and God forbid.

I know exactly how you feel about me 

for it's not the first time it's happening

and I doubt if you'd ever again give me a genuine smile.

Am sorry from the bottom most part of my heart

and it was never meant to be that way

and will never happen.

But though I've hurt you and I also hurt

I still love myself for I sacrificed myself

and went beyond my pride to make it worth.

Though all gone through and wasted.

God had a perfect reason

and from someone who is madly

and frankly in love with you, I'll miss you.

You were and always have been sweet,

I miss the way we used to drive the whole city wild,

I miss your touch comfort and more so Imiss you.

I know I'll never ever be with you again

but whoever loves you better love you the way I did

'coz one day you'll realize I love you

but maybe now it's time to move on.

I love you and as long as you are happy

I'm happy too and I'll desperately miss you!

I'm sorry and I love you my Arvee Marie...

The Wait...

Time Clicks as I await

The hour ends before my take
Sitting, thinking, waiting; my mind escapes

The day grows old as night passes
Wolves crying, coyotes howling; anticipating
Watching, staring, seeing -- nothing

Silence begins the day
as morning comes without notice
Tears begin to fall, slowly

The day moves on without hope
Wishing to be what is not to be

The sun moves to its peak
without a whisper or retreat

Time moving, but still empty
Stomach aching, curling
Still waiting

Realize...

I loved you more than I have ever known
Those starry eyes
Those tender lips
You made my heart melt
Then boil into a roaring fire
I now know
What my eyes could not see
You are the only one that is for me
Many nights those tears flew
Being myself without anyone
Anyone to care about the thoughts
Looking at the sky and knowing
Many mistakes I had
Many mistakes I have had

Sunday Gospel: 6th Sunday Ordinary Time (Feb.10, 2011)

Matthew 5: 17 - 37
17	"Think not that I have come to abolish the law and the prophets; I have come not to abolish them but to fulfil them.
18	For truly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the law until all is accomplished.
19	Whoever then relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but he who does them and teaches them shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
20	For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
21	"You have heard that it was said to the men of old, `You shall not kill; and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment.'
22	But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says, `You fool!' shall be liable to the hell of fire.
23	So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,
24	leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
25	Make friends quickly with your accuser, while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison;
26	truly, I say to you, you will never get out till you have paid the last penny.
27	"You have heard that it was said, `You shall not commit adultery.'
28	But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
29	If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.
30	And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.
31	"It was also said, `Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.'
32	But I say to you that every one who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
33	"Again you have heard that it was said to the men of old, `You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.'
34	But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God,
35	or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King.
36	And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black.
37	Let what you say be simply `Yes' or `No'; anything more than this comes from evil.

Reflection:

Today, Jesus tells us: «I have come to fulfill the Law» (Mt 5, 17). What is the Law? What is ‘The Prophets’? By the Law and the Prophets, Jesus meant two different sets of books of the Old Testament. The Law refers to the works believed to have been written by Moses; the Prophets, as the name itself indicates, are the works of the Prophets and the Sapiential books.

In Today's Gospel, Jesus refers to those who are considered the summary of the moral code of the Old Testament: The commandments of the law of God. According to Jesus, the Law isn't merely about external principles. It isn't an external imposition, on the contrary. Actually, God's Law corresponds to the ideal of perfection that is deeply rooted in the heart of every man. This is the reason why they who keep the commandments not only achieve the accomplishment of their human aspirations, but also the perfection of christianism, or, in Jesus's words, achieves the perfection of the Kingdom of God. «Whoever obeys them and teaches others to do the same will be great in the kingdom of heaven» (Mt 5, 19).

«But I say to you» (Mt 5,22). The observance of the Law isn't restricted to the letter, since «For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life» (2Cor 3:6). This is the meaning in which Jesus employs His authority to interpret the Law according to its most authentic spirit. As Jesus interprets it, the Law is extended to its ultimate consequences: the respect for life is connected to the eradication of hate, vengeance and offense; the chastity of the body, to the purity of intentions; the perfection of matrimony depends on fidelity and indissolubility; the truth of the word given starts with the respect for pacts. By observing the law, Jesus «fully reveals man to man himself and makes his supreme calling clear» (Vatican II Council).

The example of Jesus invites us to that perfection of Christian life in which we practice with actions what we preach with words.

Lonely Nights...

The night’s going cold and I’m growing old..
Everytime you’re gone is more lonesome than the last one..
And I’m spending all this night, without you in my life..
And you’re still on my mind..
Nothing to regret, when you blew off my mind..
I’m tired to be alone..
Why don’t you just come home with me?
Because I miss you so,
And I want to yell, for you to know..
If you could see me now,
We could move on somehow..
If I could travel a mile,
everything I’d do…
Just to see your smile..

Value of Life...

We human beings have been given the faculty to see and classify things and objects according to their “value”. And many times things are of importance or no importance to us depending on their capacity to satisfy our needs. We have spiritual and material needs: the crucial question is: which of them do we prefer to satisfy first? We can see the interplay of material and spiritual values in the following case study. A company made a survey of two groups of people who were asked about the most important goal of their lives. Their answers were the following:


Group 1
Architect: to have more projects that will permit me to have more money.
Engineer: to develop systems that will be useful and thus easily be sold.
Lawyer: to win more cases and have a Mercedes Benz car.
Manager: to make business more profitable.
Athlete: to gain fame and worldwide recognition.


Group 2
Prisoner: to walk freely in the streets.
Blind: to see the light of the sun.
Deaf: to listen to the sound of the wind.
Mute: to be able to say to persons how much he loves them.
Invalid: to run in a very sunny morning.
Persons with AIDS: to live a day more


Group 2 persons desire things that money cannot buy while those Group 1 wish money and fame, having already the things that money cannot buy. Many people have immense riches which money cannot buy and do not appreciate them, seeing their “treasure” in things that have a price and which can be bought by money.
Healthy people take foe granted their sight and hearing until they become deaf and blind, and thus, starting their dream of being able to hear and see. We need not label the people of Group 1 as “bad” while those of Group 2 as “good”. But at times, it takes a serious sickness for us to appreciate what we are: the God- given gifts which we have taken for granted because we have them from birth. Fame and money are the obsession of the healthy, but once they lose their health, these two easily disappear. Money and Fame belong to the world of “having” which many times contradicts the world of “being”, but experience teaches us that many times, we are engrossed in the world of “having”. The world of “being” refers to ours spiritual needs, while that of “having”, to our material needs. The crucial question is: how can we be more spiritual in this world glutted by greed for material possessions and well- being? Do we need to lose some of our physical qualities like our eyes and feet in order to understand their importance?

Three Filters

A disciple arrived hurriedly to the house of Socrates and began to talk this way:

          “Teacher, I want to tell you how your friend had been speaking badly about you.”

          Socrates interrupted saying”

          “Wait, did you already pour what you have to say to me through the three filters?”

          “The three filters? What do you mean to say?”

          “Yes,” Socrates replied. “Did you already examine carefully if what you say is CERTAIN?”

          “No, I just heard of it from some neighbors.”

          “But at least you would have passed it through the second filter which is goodness. What you will say to me is GOOD?”

          “No, in reality no, it is the contrary.”

          “Ah!” Socrates interrupted, “then we are going for the last filter. Is this what you have to say a NECESSARY thing?”

          “To be sincere to you, no, it is not necessary.”

          “Then,” the wise men smiled. “If it is not CERTAIN or GOOD or NECESSARY, it is better that you forget about it.”

Confessions

I love those people who underestimate my capabilities.
They make me do more.
I love those people who hate my guts.
They fuel my confidence.
I love those people who have prejudices against me.
They encourage me to prove them wrong.
I love those people who gave me all sorts of criticism.
They make me a better person.
I love those people who see me as inferior.
They pressure me to become superior.
I love those people who discourage me.
They nurture my perseverance.
I love those people who live in hypocrisy.
They make me strive more to live with the truth.
I love those people who condemn me.
They force me to show that I'm not worth condemning.
I love those people who are eager to put me in the dark.
They ignite my desire to prevail.
And finally, I love those people who hate me for simply being me.
They make me LOVE myself MORE.

This is a poem written by Arvee Marie T. Arroyo, RN. ...The woman I truly love and I will love forever... I saw this while doing a Google search  of her name... I Love the Way she writes... She has hidden talents in poetry... I didn't know that my baby is a poet in some way...

Meet Me Half Way by arthemismax.tumblr.com

Let me repost this blog write-up by a friends of mine... I really love the content... Your a brilliant writer dude... May http://arthemismax.tumblr.com allow me to repost this in my blog...thanks...

Meet Me Half Way
Meet me halfway like how night turns to day. Walk towards me like how I’m walking towards you. The distance between us seemed but a mile. But if you start off from your side while I start off from mine, we’d find each other sooner than we think.

Traveling alone won’t be much of a burden. Our thoughts are secure knowing that we both chose to trek the solitary path, ever-guided by our hearts’ call, to be with one another at the end of the journey.
Meet me halfway. A candle, a torch or a lamp post burns to light our way, but our desire to see each other clears the road of any fear of losing our way. Sun, moon and stars all shine so bright, but the gleam that we see in each other’s eyes is what even time and space could never place us apart.

Meet me halfway; continue to follow the trail we agreed to take. We will encounter temptations as we go along, but we trust in each other to never be swayed or get strayed. Our senses will be enticed, but our longing for each other’s company will lure us back to the right direction.

Our trip will be weary; ever-tiring and lonesome. We would need to rest. Often, we’d lose heart in continuing and find places to ease our worn-out spirits. So we take time to eat, sleep, quench; and then the journey continues on.
The voyage will be full of the unexpected, but we both expect each other to pack ready. We will only carry what is necessary; leaving things that would remind us of where we’ve been or where we’ve each planned to go. Because when we held each other, neither the past nor the future is significant; only the present remains important.

We would lose touch and contact for a while. In losing time to talk we might lose our urge to drive on. So we meet people to fill these holes, ever-thankful for their words of comfort, yet ever-mindful how irreplaceable our conversations are.

As we longed for each other’s company, we might meet people who’d replace our longings with promises similarly valiant and noble. They’d douse our yearning for each other with their own. They might fill our gaps and we might fell in love, too. They’d substitute our hopes with their reality, but they could never recreate nor replicate our love, the chances we took for each other and our promise to meet each other halfway.
Meet me halfway. When I start this winding endeavor, I’ll tag your name in my chest and call your name and sing our songs along the way. And when I finally reach you, I’ll hold in my arms and kiss you with my eyes closed, feeling every bit of sadness flow away.

Meet me halfway. I’ll take this course of no return, believing as much as you believe that we’ll be together when it ends. Meet me halfway, but right now, we could start off as friends.
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When you thought everything is fine

F**k! I made a mistake! I screwed up this time. I shouldn’t have done that. I was so stupid doing it.

Words of regret follow after when you thought everything is full of bliss, but then turned to be another unfortunate event. I made another mistake this time, which I say, indeed a real act of stupidity. Everything between us was so peaceful and full of love, when I made something that turned this happiness into something lurid. “I shouldn’t have done that…” my very words of regret after my apology wasn’t accepted. I can’t blame her. It’s my entire fault. I shouldn’t have myself driven into temptation by touching what she said to be her personal. And if I discovered something, I should have kept it in myself. However, the damage has been done. I may have my own reasons why I have done it in the first place, but those reasons can’t support the very fact that I totally screw up and everything is a regretful act. How can I fix this? I don’t know. I’m a kind of guy who’s full of wit to everything. I know how to construct and I also know the best and possible way to destruct. But in this case however, I’m hopeless. Maybe because of anger, I did it. Yes, I have a vengeful soul. My spirit doesn’t rest to those I abhor. It bawls for revenge and all I can think of is getting back what you owe me. Do I regret that I have this vengeful character? No, never. But I do regret that what I did was wrong, and it turned out to be a loss. I can’t lie. I can’t keep hatred just in myself. I need to express it. I need to let it go, for hatred is the thing that I know that could destroy me. But I have no more reasons why I should say what I did is right. I accept to be stand corrected. I accept my punishment.

In some other way, I’m glad. This unfortunate event may bring grief but at least I could keep my head up. I may be disrespectful towards personal treasures, but it is because I created protection. I may hurt feelings, but at least I have kept fidelity. Great men make serious mistakes. Great men screwed up big time. Great men are always imperfect. That’s why they became great. By their stupidly, mistakes, errors, flaws, imperfection, malevolent decisions; they took time, to stop, be quiet, sit down, think, ponder, pray, regret, reconcile, feel guilty, do penance, and make it right. But the least I can say now is: “I’m sorry for doing it.”

**********************************************

What happened doesn’t mean that the other entity won this battle. I may have lost the fight this time but the war hasn’t ended and I’m not yet defeated. What happened is a lesson learned, but not a lesson taught on how to bow down. This will never make me a weaker man, for this will surely transform me to a greater being fit to be one of the gods of men….

Currently Reading: The God of Small Things

In her first novel, award-winning Indian screenwriter Arundhati Roy conjures a whoosh of wordplay that rises from the pages like a brilliant jazz improvisation. The God of Small Things is nominally the story of young twins Rahel and Estha and the rest of their family, but the book feels like a million stories spinning out indefinitely; it is the product of a genius child-mind that takes everything in and transforms it in an alchemy of poetry. The God of Small Things is at once exotic and familiar to the Western reader, written in an English that's completely new and invigorated by the Asian Indian influences of culture and language.

I'm currently reading this, not because I love to read, but because I need this for the retreat I'm about to give... I used this book once when I was studying the subject on Homiletics...

Missing Val d’ Sole

Yesterday I took a bit of adventure for myself. After waiting for someone from 7:00am up to 3:00pm, (which really upsets me) I decided to take a hike from Molo to Bakhaw, Mandurriao. The heat of the sun was so excruciating, yet the sweet February breeze touches my skin. With a backpack, rubber shoes and a pair of sunglasses, I started to make my march. I began reminiscing one of our summer get away trips when I was in Italy. It is taking a hike to the peak of Val d’ Sole.

 Val d’ Sole is indeed a paradise on earth. A person could see the beauty of God’s creation. I could still recall when I was with this Austrian friend, whose passion is to take a walk. He was the one who persuaded me to take a hike on Val d’ Sole. Conquering Val d’ Sole wasn’t an easy task. A lot of climbs, rocky paths, streams and brooks, cliffs and narrow paths were encountered. Same as when I did this foot march along Diversion Road. The roads were dusty, smog were belched from motorized vehicles, the burning heat, and of course, thirst. The only difference is that, this new found adventure is a bit easy and fast (for it only took me half an hour to end my course), yet in the end, the hiker looks tired and forlorn. Unlike taking a hike in Val d’ Sole, in every Refugio, there’s cool water, stagnant on a log that seems to be its tub, which came directly from a stream, so fresh, clean, and potable, that makes every tiring step your satisfaction. Well, as I passed by a Gasoline station, there was this decorative landscape that has a fountain on the center, which made me recall Val d’ Sole and its Refugios. But of course, you can’t take a plunge on it, or taste its savory water.

Val d’ Sole is not only all about mountains, trees and rocks, but also of its beautiful waterfalls, or as we call it, Cascate…

How beautiful nature is. These sights are not as common as they are to be in this era. The real blue lagoon, so refreshing to the eyes that I crave to have a dip of myself on it…

Along the rocky grounds beside the lake, a beautiful spot for a hiker to take a break, grab a smoke and adore the beauty of creation and the artistry of its Creator…

Throughout my life, the experience of being in Val d’ Sole and a 12 hour hike were experiences worth missing for and worth to be remembered throughout eternity….

Fixing a Broken Heart

It's TIME to fix our broken Hearts......

I'll fix yours...and I know you're the only one who can fix mine....
"Every single one of us can do things that no one else can do, can love things no one else can love."

Phenomenology of Love

What is a Phenomenology?

When a break occurs in an experience of an individual, he started to reflect. Sometimes in our reflection, we rob some time to think and reflect. Moreover, in our reflection we tried to document it down. Thus, every thing written in Phenomenology is exact and lived experience. It is irrevocable because it is an experience of an individual. It is the reality of what one has truly felt. By this process, a philosophical thought shall emerge. We have reflected on our own personal experiences for to be a reflection by the other is unacceptable. It is something that you have and you own, it is something for a man to claim as his ownership that no body can ever perform on his behalf. It is your personal out look on your life. Thus, it became a Phenomenology.

Phenomenology of Love

What is Love?

In our lives, there is this absolute thing that surrounds us. Many tried to explain it, yet it resulted to failure for it is unexplainable. What is this that they call Love? Why humans are in control by this word written, or such a phrase that is being delivered by the tongue? Does it exist? A multitude would ponder on these questions. However, Love cannot be defined if it is not acted upon. Many cannot surpass in answering the questions of love because there is something lacking on their method of loving. One needs really to step out from his or her self in order to understand what love means. We need not only the eyes to see and recognize what is love. For love is an inner urge in our self to respond if we are being reciprocated by love itself. One can only answer why he or she loves because he or she realizes that love shared to him or her, and the love that he or she shares in reciprocal.

Love as Love itself through an appeal

In love, there are things so unclear that we sometimes cannot clearly understand. Things are presented to us, yet within us, it is unrecognized. These things are called appeals. When a boy asks a girl if why she loves him, it is not that he is in doubt or he is just making nonsense. It is actually an appeal in order for the girl to step out from her self-centeredness and respond to the appeal. The more the question is delivered, the stronger the love begets love it self. It is an appeal on how one can stand the circumstances of personal centeredness and step out from it. It is by embracing the fact that love is unexplainable and only it can be defined if one can open his or her self to the other. Why there is lover’s quarrel? Sometimes, one shows an affectionate appeal in an unlovable manner. Sometimes, we tend to break the flow of the routine of the sweet relationship in order to acquire the meaning of love. If there is shyness, hesitation, and failure to respond to an appeal, love is at stake. One cannot continue loving if someone refuses to step out from thy self and face the reality that it is not just to question but also to present affection. In every relationship of Eros, an appeal must be present and one must not lose patience on it. It is a test of Love as Love itself through an appeal.

Love as Sacrificial

Love is always sacrificial. It is not love if no sacrifice is involved. Non-thinkers cannot understand this basic thing clearly. Nevertheless, how can we define Love as sacrificial? If someone loses, his or her self for the other is indeed sacrificial. One must embrace the reality that he has to level his or herself to the dust of the earth in order for the other to see the willingness of the heart. In true love, one must embrace humiliations, judgments and condemnations. One must have the patience for the other. Patience in the only factor that one can over come the questions of love. In true love, true and real patience must exist. The human capacity to love is a Tabula Rassa. The reality must be recorded on it in a blank tablet. Patience, trust, and acceptance must be noted down in order to face its tribulations and be a victor of sacrificial love. It requires an intense sacrifice. No matter what the weather or no matter what the consequence of nature has presented, if someone is motivated to love, there is no hindrance for that being to express how real is his or her love. He or she must die from his or her self. He or she must withdraw from the self-centeredness and extinguish that personal desire of an existential being to the world. In love, he or she must be a nobody asking to be love in return.

Love as a transcendence

If one is willing to love and to love even in sacrificial, he or she must let go of the comfort given by the self-centeredness and embrace the discomfort. If one is not expressive, he or she must let go of it and must express his or her self as a person that has someone to love. Love must not remain in its silence. It must recover a voice that has the capacity to speak to its proclamation that he or she loves someone. In love, one must pass the moment of anguish in order to be liberated by love as love itself. One has to detach to the being of self- centeredness and accept the subjectivity of the other as affection on love. If someone is at the higher status of his being, he or she must go down from his or her pedestal of glory in such way that love can be rendered to the other. In reality, only little of them among the few have done the reality of true love.

Words are to be spoken and Actions are to be done in Love

Love requires not only action but also words. Words that can arouse the inner urge of the person in order to reciprocate another love to the other. Words are important. They are the sources of every human activity to love. Words can be expressive enough to another person in whom you want to render your love. It is the basis of trust in every individual especially when it comes to love. Words can be inspiring for another person. If a girl tells a boy how much she loves him, it can motivate the boy to love her more. But if she ceases to render her words, its’ up to the capacity of the boy’s patience to understand her. Let us be noted that this emotion are more likely present to human beings. Therefore, it has its humanistic level. One can be turned down by the silence of Love. Others can be motivated if love is at the same time spoken and done. It is terrible to believe that action speaks louder than words. No! What makes it louder is when love is both spoken and acted upon. And our words must be materialized by action. How can you tell someone that you are loving him or her if you are not telling him or her that you love him or her? It’s very passive and does not create a single philosophical sense that for example a girl tells a boy that she loves him yet she cannot define how she loves him and why she loves that boy. It is not considered as love. It is just a plain answer to a demand in order to escape the fact that it is not just a question but an invitation to love. Thus, we return to our own self-centeredness. Love must not be selfish in rendering the words and actions. One must mean what he or she feels. Words are useless if not accompanied by actions. Actions are undefined if there are no words to define them. Both must be equal and equitable. It must not be kept as personal for in Eros, not just a single existing being can say that this is my personal thought. It must be both their stand as an erotic partner to claim the love is personal within them both. Only within them, they can unselfishly tell the words and act their actions. Thus, it is love. For love is not for those who are selfish and self-centered.

“Be with me…”

Understanding the other’s appeal to me does not relate to his facticity but rather to what he is over and above his facticity, viz., a subject. His intersubjectivity itself is the appeal addressed to me; it is an appeal to me to share in his subjectivity. Marcel tries to understand this appeal in the words “Be with me.” It is the other’s appeal to me to leave my self-centeredness, to share in his subjectivity, to accept, support, and increase it.

Love to the Beloved

Love’s appeal to the beloved can only be properly understood when one sees that in willing the other’s subjectivity, his freedom can be fruitful only if the other ratifies this will by his own “yes.” Love does not wish to force, and for this reason it is, in a certain sense, defenseless in reference to the other. Love wills the other’s freedom and therefore becomes fruitful only by the other’s free consent. The lover, however, cannot will that his love be not understood, not accepted, and not fruitful. That is why love appeals to the beloved, an appeal which we would like to explicitate in the words: “Accept that I be at your disposal.” Even if love is obliged to close certain roads through the world for the beloved, it cannot do otherwise than will that the other himself avoid those roads. Love is not satisfied with making it materially possible for the other to go certain roads. This is what is meant by saying that love refuses to force the other. Love’s appeal to the beloved thus means a prayer to the beloved himself to see that this road and not the one that will lead this subjectivity to its destiny. The prayer: “Accept that I be at you disposal” thus means, “see for yourself and realize in freedom your own happiness.” The only fruit love may hope for is that the other will exist.

Love is to give

Sometimes we demand a lot for love is demanding. It demands time, attention, grace and love as love itself. The one who loves gives two things. First: He or She is giving time. To give time for an ample attention to the beloved is an expression of loving the beloved. To give some time for recreation and time to communicate with the one you love can surely satisfy his emptiness. One who loves a beloved must render a time of attention, a time to communicate and a time to restart. One must give its ears to the beloved. A time to listen is something worth to give. A time or a moment to understand the subjectivity and failures of the other can help motivated a dying heart. If the other’s appeals of having a talk for five to ten minutes are those he or she is asking for you, why not give it to him or her because according to you, he or she is your beloved. One must render attention to the beloved. He or she must extinguish all things that would create a hindrance to the opportunity to love the beloved, which is according to the lover. If she or he permits that obstruction, a leak may be caused for has been an obstruction to communicate, to give attention and to love. Thus, the lover cannot blame the beloved when the beloved refuse to love the lover in return.
Second: Giving of something. Love is not material. Yet in loving the beloved, we must have something of sentimental. Not just giving him or her material thing, but also rendering a thought foe example. On the other hand, even a kiss that would seal your love. Alternatively, a hug can envelop him or her in your arms. Thus, all these things are expressions of giving something. It will never cost somebody a penny. However, it can price worthily your love to the beloved.

 PS: I know that a genius somewhat might again be by blog parasite...totomel... just want to tell you that I wrote this when I was still in highschool... so if you want to criticize my writings... you're free to do so... anyway, I started to write before you were aware that there exists a so called "internet"... don't worry..I applauded you for calling your self a moron....

How I Miss You

When Cupid aims his love arrows towards you, it seems that the world changes into a wonderland. How beautiful is it to be enamored and being loved by someone.? From the very first day after your exchange of "yes" to each other, seems to be a bright beginning of a day when you are so excited to read the first morning message from her in your phone or to wait for her call and to ask her if she is ok for a lunch or dinner with you. Let me write down the things I miss with the woman I love:?

* Walking on a deep flooded streets and to pick her up on her friend's apartment
* Exchanging love letters even though you meet everyday
* Waiting for her early in the morning to pick her up outside her house because you aren't allowed yet to meet her parents
* Taking her very heavy black duty bag from her hand and carrying it for her
* Running with her on the road while trying to catch a ride because she's gonna be late for school or for work
* Waiting for her outside her school's gate during lunch time and after class
* Sending her text messages whenever she feels bored... (she asked me to entertain her) =)
* Texting her up to the wee hours of the morning... (talking a lot topics)
* Laughing while she makes funny noises whenever she sees a puppy on he sidewalk
* Teaching her how to dance properly
* Reaching a green mango high above the tree and peeling it for her.
* Cooking shrimp paste in her house just to ease up her craving towards sour foods.
* Carrying her girly looking paper bag without shame while other people watch with giggles on them.
* Travel with her outside the city just to meet her kins.
* Watching a movie with her on a last full show period while she rests her head on my shoulders
* Eating... Eating...Eating....( We almost toured all the restaurants in the city)
* Giving her a throw pillow on her birthday and lots of throw pillows
* Giving her a green superman T-shirt that wouldn't fit after a few months. =)
* Cooking pasta... she craves for it...
* Joking at her whenever she had mood swings during her period
* Offering your bag because she will be inspecting what is inside
* Getting hit by her handbag during a concert
* Sharing a tiny pink umbrella during the time when it rains like cats and dogs
* Doing groceries together and buying a bunch of junkfoods.
* Buying her large up sized french fries whenever she feels upset. (It's like winning her kindness again)
* Going to the sports complex and exercise alone while she just watch from the side
* Buying her pistachio flavored ice cream.
* Watching movie in her room while she tries to blow through my ear holes
* Checking my cellphone most of the time.
* Cleaning and re arranging her bedroom.
* Gun Firing with her even though she got the craziest stance for shooting.
* Kissing her armpit whenever she tries to hug me
* Staring at her when she wears her eye glasses
* Telling her that she feels amazement during her first airplane flight
* Watching how her eyes go big and round whenever she sees something amazing and amusing.
* Stealing her childhood school ID pictures
* Sharing Oishi Wasabi flavored potato snack while she can't control her chewing
* Asking her help on computers and installing her memory card
* Turning her airconditioner ON and OFF most of the time. ( Not to mention when she asked me to turn down or up the cooler)
* Walking with her on the Ladies department and staying there for a long time while she checks the bags on shoes
* Giving her crispy chicken skin to eat
* Rubbing and massaging her back up
* Complaining when she asked me to massage her head, then her back, then her arms, then her legs and torso
* Cracking her fingers while holding hands
* When she scratches my back for a very short time then she would ask me to do it on her for a longer period
* Trying to open a Twitter account because she asked me to make one.
* When she tried to treat the dog bite on my thigh
* When I bought her mangosteen... first time for her to taste it
* Helping her in making desserts
* Looking at her annoyingly while she makes funny faces at me
* Teasing her about her eyes...( Actually, they're the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen)
* Strolling in various parks as we watched the lights and feeling the spirit of Christmas
* Eating...Eating.... Eating... streetfoods, native foods, peanuts, barbeque and a lot more to eat with her
* Telling her how much you love her and listening to her voice as she tells you the same thing...
* Kissing her lips, holding her hand, hugging her tight and calling her your baby

Well... These are few things worth remembering about the woman I love, I have loved and forever I will love....???

La Settimana Piena di Belleza ( A week filled with beauty)

She came back. ♥That's what matters. She smiled.♥ That's what is the most important. She hugged me.♥ That's what I longed for a month and a half. She kissed me.♥ That's what I've been dreaming for. She told me that she loves me still.♥ That's what I'm hoping to hear...♥

Last week was a week filled with miracles. I do believe that storming the heavens with your prayers (and not curses) would grant answers. I do believe that by never giving up would make you victorious in your quest. I have only one quest in my life, and that is to bring back the love I once lost. Judgments, Condemnations, Regrets, Hesitation? Those were never included in my Lexicon. Simple things were made and done. But those things meant so much.♥ Cooking Pasta al Ragu,♥ Foot and Head Massage,♥ being my "Facebook" secret spy, and of course,♥ staying up throughout the night and waiting for the break of dawn to tell her how much I love her...♥ not to mention, ♥carrying her purse and pink umbrella while doing our groceries... and♥ bearing on my shoulders with joy her lavender bag while she scouts for her new blouse....♥ Well, maybe it's like going back to the drawing board. But who cares?! To restart, renew, and be better, if not the best from what you have done in the past... because true LOVE came back....♥

As I have promised on May 14, 2006,♥ on a bench across the Catholic Church of Molo: " You are the first that I loved seriously and you will always be the last woman I will LOVE... I love you FOREVER and EVER.... ♥"(and it is really forever and ever throughout eternity)....

Thanks for the love, my Arvee Marie♥♥♥

January 31, 2011: The night I will never forget..

When I saw her again, she was in tears, telling me that I'm tearing her fragile heart to pieces. How can I love you, when you are loving someone else?... Aren't those tears are symbolisms of lies... Maybe things are just fresh and it's indeed difficult to move-on. When you hugged me and kissed me last night, it was so different from what we used to do. I could feel Love within you. Believe me, for four years I have given everything, even my very soul. That's why it's no doubt that I could feel your heart. The way your hands caressed me and as your lips touched mine, made me realized that there's still a chance for us to be together again... I know I am imperfect, but I have equaled God's perfection in LOVING you... Just be on guard.... The devil knows how to break happiness to someone with a weaker faith... I have endured the entire tests given...and there's one more test..this, I cannot do anything... It's now up to you and how strong is my faith...

The first test was the test of my strength. When you left me forsaken, I could have been swallowed by grief... I could have been driven down to my death... But I stood still on my ground... Making my love as a wall that I was leaning on..

The second test was the test of my weakness. Women came into my life, tempting me to let go of my oath that you're the only woman i'll love forever... I told you before, you shall be the last, and no one more.... I did it... I stood my ground even though, the foretaste of happiness is just an arm length away from me.... The flesh has always been my weakness. But I gained strength by keeping my word...

The third test is the test of my faith. Here, there's nothing I can do but pray... last night was just a glimpse of tears that will be shed and happiness if I succeed... The worst is about to happen.. so, be prepared... be vigilant...everything he gives and shows are Lies... The devil is the prince of darkness and father of all lies.... I will be hopeless, and all i can do is get down on my knees and double the prayers....

Just remember... I have kept my promise..and I'm keeping it up to now... I'm hoping for your return.... and I love you more.... but there should be a sacrifice for us to wake up in this resentment....

"Will you betray the son of man with a kiss....?"

You have betrayed me already... Don't betray your new Cover-up... tell him you love me more...

Jan. 31, 2011, a date that I will always remember forever.... The night we hugged and kissed again..... It shall be written in the stars and in the book of Kings...